The Dachshund Club

Founded 1881

TOTS ON TOUR

Thursday

The final pick up on the luxury coach was Val Skinner and Ann Derry at Dover Docks at 10am, this completed our compliment of 25 intrepid Travelers who were all determined to make this a unique experience.

We were running to schedule and the sun was shining, and the coach was humming with animated conversation.  The ferry crossing was quick, so quick that most of us failed to make duty free purchase as the lure of food took preference. Consequently a brief stop was made at the French hypermarket in order to stock up on those essentials such as beer, wine & Jamesons (Some bought “more” than others!)

The journey through to Cologne then commenced, passing through France, Belgian and Holland prior to entering the German border. 

 Most people dozed or watched a film during this five hour or so journey, but some just carried on talking! (Mrs. Skinner actually – does she ever stop?)

Finally, the “Achat Hotel” was reached and the weary travelers all alighted and made their way up to their lovely clean warm rooms.  At 9 pm everyone met in the lobby and to the hotel’s Italian restaurant and a superb meal was enjoyed at a very reasonable rate.

Most people adjourned to bed, whilst a few hardier ones enjoyed a night cap before finally succumbing to sleep.

 Friday

Breakfast was attended by all the party at 8-8.30am, this consisted of a variety of cooked sausages plus fruits, cereals, yoghurts and cheese accompanied by some excellent coffee and a variety of teas, including Vanilla Rooibos much to Phil Dance’s delight! At 10am the coach was boarded & John Wright (Our Tour Operator) gave us a run down of the show to come and instructions for meeting back that night.  After an hour’s journey to Westfalhallen the show was reached and everyone went their separate ways, Judging of dachshunds (Teckels in Germany) was to start at 2pm so gave us time to look at other breeds and do some doggy shopping.

There are nine varieties of dachshunds in Germany (FCI standard), Kaninchen – under 30cms around the chest, Miniatures, 35cms and Normal (Our standard variety) over 35cms and under 10kgs.  The judging was quite difficult to follow with dogs coming and going and them being moved dozens of times.  Table examination was cursory, with the number of teeth being counted and the tails being felt bone by bone and not a lot else. It was soon apparent that the one we like in each class would almost certainlybe last, whilst the furthest from our type would be likely to take the top place.  A normal (standard) Smooth Haired Dachshund won the Teckel Group, all 9 dachshunds forming their own group, not having to compete in the hound group as we do.

Eventually an Afghan was given BIS and we all made our way back to the coach for the trip home.  As it was after 10pm when we arrived back at the hotel, everyone decided to eat straight away in the resident Italian Restaurant.

The poor waitress tried to smile (unsuccessfully) when we descended for the second night running and again our broken German managed to secure is a wonderful meal of Lasagne, Cannelloni, Pizza or Penne Pasta plus rather large quantities of red wine.

By now the party had truly gelled into a group and everyone was very chatty and happy. (Some might say raucous?)

 After dinner most went off for a well earned sleep, while again the night owls adjourned to room 227 to imbibe of more Jamesons and discuss the meaning of life and what the future might hold.  By 2.30am even the editor of this screed decided some sleep was required and so eventually retired ready for tomorrow’s escapades.

 Saturday

The group arose in time to enjoy the varied breakfast before boarding the coach at 9.30am.  Although there was another dog show today, as there were no Teckels on display, everyone opted for a trip on the River Rheine and shopping in Cologne instead.  The coach dropped everyone off in the centre of Cologne and instructions to meet back at 1.45pm for the trip on the river.

All went their separate ways and here the differences certainly showed up.  Some only made it as far as the nearest cafe.  Some took in the impressive cathedral and some just hit the shops big time.  The number of parcels brought back indicated who had done what.  In the town square there were hundreds of motorbikes, all neatly parked in rows.  It appears that the Church was giving a blessing for the bikers and holy water was being sprinkled over everything.  Eventually the roar of the bikes began and they all proceeded to exit the square in an orderly fashion.  This explained why our hotel had been populated by numerous your men in groups, dispelling any previous theories.  From the square we all met up and followed our guides to the riverside for our hour trip along the river, passing by an extraordinary enormous pink statue of a naked man.  Some said the blond hair and blue eyes, on the statue looked exaggerated, some didn’t notice these features and others simply took photographs!

The trip on the boat was a super ride with everyone admiring the views. However, one view that wasn’t anticipated was the sight of two male nudists languishing on the river bank despite the temperature only being some 15 degrees.  Again it was noted that photographs of the scenery were taken, some with telephoto lenses.

During this trip a cable car ride was discovered spanning the river and our ever obliging organizer John took the party by coach in order that those who wanted (nine only – and not all the young ones I might add) could avail themselves.  Well, how interesting it was, not only were there panoramic views up and down the River Rhine and surrounding countryside, but it just so happened to pass over the top of a nudist health spa!  So this was an added bonus that hadn’t been expected.  They are not shy the Germans!

After much hilarity everyone duly arrived back at the hotel and plans were made to re-group in the lobby at 7pm.

As the waitress in the in-house restaurant was now suffering a nervous breakdown at the proposition of a third consecutive night of English visitors, most decided to make the 10 minute walk into the old town to see what was on offer there.

Had the leaders known their left from their right it would have been 10 minutes, however, an hour later the little village was reached only to be shown to be closed – on a Saturday Night??   Monheim it has to be said is not the hub of the universe.

However, one bier kellar was open and the now starving walkers were glad to partake of some excellent non-Italian fare – there only being so much Cannelloni one person can eat. (Ask Sandy Surrell).  After a raucous evening and yet more night caps, the party broke up at around midnight as beauty sleep would be required as it was to be an early start in the morning.

 Sunday

Breakfast at 7am ready for an 8am leave to return to the dog show for a 9am start.  Most people wanted to revisit the show but a few of us remained on the coach to go onto a Sunday market that John had found for us nearby.  The car booters spent a wonderful day in the brilliant sunshine picking up numerous bargains, including for two people, toilet seat with a Miniature wire on it.  Another pair found a Steif long haired dachshund going for a song, which they quickly bartered on (in German – by now we were almost fluent) and brought back to later be auctioned on E-bay.

Back at the dog show the remainder of the “Teckels on Tour” or “TOTS” as we are not known arrived back at the bus to tell us about the show and give a rundown of the judging.

By 5pm the hotel was reached and a group photograph was taken outside the hotel.  Everyone then went their separate ways to relax before meeting for dinner at 7pm.

Unfortunately it transpired that while we had been out the hotel had in fact been taken over and there were new staff throughout.  The towels in some rooms had not been changed and despite explaining in German the man on reception tried to tell us he didn’t understand.  However, Anne used her “Forceful Secretary Hat” and soon all the rooms were successfully serviced. Dinner was eaten in the hotel restaurant for the final time and at last Sandy managed to get Cannelloni (Hooray).  The waitress was very pleased to learn this was the final night for the “TOT’s” (Teckels on Tour) and we were surprised to find out that having spent the whole long weekend using broken German to her she actually was from Sicily and spoken Italian!

For the final time the hard core group gathered in room 227 and finished of the eight bottles of red wine, 12 bottles of beer and the litre of Jamesons, before falling (literally in some cases) into bed for a good three hours sleep prior to the early start in the morning.

 Monday

Breakfast was at 6.30am allowing for a 7.30am leave for the long drive back to the ferry. Anne had a call to say Chris was poorly at home and was going to hospital.  This subdued the travelers particularly as they had previously given Chris the thumbs up for helping to organize the trip. Immediately after this news we watched a very sad film about Emperor penguins, so this really helped!  The traffic in Belgian was very heavy, but there was time for a speedy comfort break before continuing to the Chocolate factory.  To prevent boredom there was a “who shall we pair off with whom” in the dog world and the first couple it was decided should be Jeff Crawford and Sandy Surrell, a perfect combination it was thought.  This was followed by “confessions of an exhibitor” where everyone declared their secret unrequited crushes on people in the dog game and very interesting it proved to be.

The stop at the Belgium Chocolate factory proved very interesting and many early Christmas presents were purchased at very competitive prices and then the journey continued to the ferry.  It was the most fabulous weather and the journey flew by with people either admiring the scenery, reading or dozing or getting their regular fix of Sudoku.  Another stop at the Cash & Carry by the port and people brought amazing quantities of all types of alcohol.  Judy Squires needed a trolley to wheel hers back to the coach, it was fortunate that the hold wasn’t too full of suitcases otherwise all the bottles wouldn’t have fitted in.

The crossing on the ferry was fantastic – the sun was shining, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky and most people went up on deck to watch the swell.

All too soon the crossing was over and the coach arrived back at the Dover Dock.  Ann Derry and Valerie Skinner left the coach and the trip was officially over – Val was still talking.

Next year the “TOT’s” are off to Barcelona – Why not join us – Watch this space…. Ole

 Mandy Dance

 More Pictures Below - Click on Thumbnail for larger image.